Less than Perfect

Why I am less than perfect? First let me tell you that I have been married twice both times I married a ready made family, and the long lost baggage that goes along with the arrangement. My first wife had four children when we met all girls from ages 11 to 6, the eleven year olds were fraternal twins, the others were six and seven respectfully. Shirley and I met at a "coffee break" that it what we called when CBer's (users of Citizen Band Radio) got together for late night coffee, and snacks at a local Cafe or diner, in this case it was a "Sambos"(there's a bast from the past). Shirley was sitting there with her then Husband and two of her four children. There was not an immediate attraction in fact I thought she was Trailer Trash,her kids were dirty and unruly her husband I thought at first was her father he was at least 15 years her senior. Once he was not around she approached me I guess she was flirting, making a move at it were, "I ask what will your dad think if he sees you hitting on me?" she said "Bill he is my husband and divorce will be final tomorrow" "sorry lady I don't need that action" I said and walked out.

One year twodays four hours and sixteen minutes later was our second encounter, this time however was not a face to face meeting but a voice to voice over the CB radio. Crisco ( Shirley ) ask if I remembered her from our last meeting, at that time I did not recall, she also ask for me to come to her home, I did go to her house then and only then did I remember her. She was sharing the house with another white trashlooking female who also had a small child. Here they were two single mothers and five children living a small two bedroom. The house was a mess there was no food to be found all the children were filthy, all I wanted to do was turn and run just as fast as my legs would carry me, but no something made me stay. I have always had a soft spot in my heart for abused and neglected children, that is when calculated the time between meetings. At this point I had only seen Shirley's two youngest I had not met the twins, they are the ones who ask me to stay. I was never attracted to Shirley or her house mate, I did feel sorry for the girls how they were forced to live, needless to say I came to the small dwelling at least three times a week with food, and sometimes cash to help out, I learned early not to give cash it never went where I intended it to go. There was time when I home doing my dishes (I shared a house with my sister) when the phone would ring it would one of the twins calling asking when I was coming to see them, I was spending most of my free time either talking to one of the girls on the phone or going over there to see if they being taken care of, more time than not the girls were left alone sometimes over night.

Shirley and her house mate were finally evicted from the house the "friend" moved in with another low rent couple, and I let Shirley and the girls move in with me and my sister, my sister was not happy with this arrangement she soon moved out on her own.(it was time) Not long after that Shirley, the kids and I had to find another house, we found a large 3 bedroom apartment not far away, I coaxed Shirley into finding work, up to then she was getting aid from the state better known as AFDC. By now it was time for school to start the twins I think started in the sixth grade to two little ones were starting in the first, this is when I had to take control, Shirley decided she liked to work more than she wanted to be a mother.The youngest girl's teacher called and needed to talk to a parent,so I had to go to school and put the youngest back to Kindergarten ( this was not my place ) she was not ready for the first grade. For the first time in my life I had respect for my father, he was always the one who met my teachers, I felt needed I was in love with being a parent, Hell I was in love with these girls.

Although the girl's mother and I had not yet gotten married I settled in as if we were. I said earlier that Shirley liked work it turned out that she was having a thing with one of her male co workers she and her new Bo would get a little action first thing in the morning,then noon, and sometimes after work, this little affair got them fired, at the time she told me she quit so she could spend more time with her kids. (yea right)She had one skill that made her popular with men...if you know what mean, yet I was blind to the fact I was only a live in babysitter. I loved those kids and they loved me. There came a time when I knew I would lose my four little girls so I ask Shirley to marry me. We were married in a backyard ceremony July 30 1977 by the Pastor of my and the girl's Church, and spent the rest of the day at a Church sponsored picnic. For the next four years we lived as a family I was happy more to be a Daddy than a Husband. Shirley got another job and her new "romance" soon followed, I learned of all the affairs after we Divorced. Thank God she did not have any other children.

After she left me it is said she married the "father" of her twins, I have not heard from any of the girls, I did hear bits and pieces of their lives. I would love to hear from or of them. My in(out)laws had convinced Shirley that if she did not leave me they would have the state take her children.

Time for a change. I packed up what little I had and moved to another West Texas town. Many of you know that Texas is oil country. The oil industry was booming I acquired work as a welder with a tool manufacturer, housing was short at the time so slept in my car during the week and a motel room on weekends for almost three months then the bottom fell out of the market. The company I worked for closed.

I applied and was hired to work for the city at one third the amount I was earning as a welder,but at least the city would not close or go out of business. Starting at $840.00 a month salary I was the lowest paid employee in the department. After 4 months I was given a promotion and a raise,2 more months another small raise. Four months and two day afterward another raise, a promotion, in less than a year I was now at half of the wages I lost as a welder. My salary was now $1240.00 per month, I was living in a travel trailer at $350.00 rent per month at the time that was all there was in a still tight housing market in the next month housing loosend and a co-worker and I rented a two bedroom house for a little over $420.00 + utilities per month. Within 2 years I was promoted 3 time and received 5 raises, that does not sound less than perfect now does it? I'll get to that now.

During my first marriage Shirley girls called me "Daddy", this is where I tell you difference between a "Father"and a "Daddy". I have been both. To the children that were not my own I was in my mind a loving caring "Daddy", but, to my own son I am only a "father"(sperm donor if you will) let explain that this way any mature male human not shooting blanks can be a "Father" but it takes a man to give his love as well as his time to be a "Daddy" when he is needed most. August 30, 1985 I married Charleta. Before we met I had no plans on getting married again the first one was bad enough. I was doing very well on my own I did not need another millstone around my neck. one month before I met my soon to be second wife I joined the "Fraternal Order of Eagles" at the invitation of my boss, I still don't know why perhaps it was fate. The F.0.E had a dance in another small West Texas town just 49 miles east. A friend ask if I could drive him there as he was blind. This blind friend had not told me he invited two single women to the dance one was his date and I was to keep her friend company. A short 3 months later Charleta and I were married. I had no idea I would fall so hard for another single mother with four children.

I was there for my two wife's children they all called me Daddy not because they had too it because they wanted to. My son was born May 15,1986 and something changed I was now a real Father my "step children" became less important my wife the mother of my son took the back burner, now I know this was wrong. Suddenly I needed more money all my quality time was spent working another job lost in trying to earn more scratch, working 8 to 10 hours a day at the City and another 4 to 6 hours a day at part-time job, the time I use to spend helping with homework reading stories and cuddling with my wife. Sometimes I would come in so late that I would end up sleeping on the couch. What happened? The family would only see me coming from job out to another, quality time was a quick peck on the cheek or hand on the shoulder. What happened? One year one month I lost my job with the city The reason I lost my job is another story, long and sorted. I had to quit the part-time job, time with my family became non-existant.

My second wife has re-married 2 times since our divorce, I have seen my son a total of one week in the last 16 years, he is now a grown man, and a could be father himself at 21 years old.

I learned the hard way the family does not want material things money can buy but your most valuable resource your time. This article should be titled "Far From Perfect"